Experiences of Women with Male Factor Infertility under In Vitro Fertilization
Abstract
:1. Introduction
1.1. Rationale for the Study
1.2. Aim
2. Methods
2.1. Study Design
2.2. Study Participants
2.3. Data Collection
2.4. Data Analysis
2.5. Rigor of Study
2.6. Research Ethics
3. Results
3.1. Difficult to Accept the Situation
3.1.1. Discomfort Arising from the Word “Infertility”
“I always thought that it’s only natural to have a baby right away after you get married. I never even thought that this (infertility) will happen… the word ‘infertility’ was really annoying. Why are they bringing that word to me? I just hated the word.”(Participant 1)
3.1.2. Hate to be Blamed for Infertility
“People ask me ‘Why don’t you still have a baby?’ almost every week. I hated it. It’s not like I do not want to be pregnant.”(Participant 4)
3.1.3. Difficult to Endure the Current Situation
“What I resent and am mad at is that sometimes I wonder why was I born a woman? If I was not a woman, then I do not have to be worried about having to have a child and be free… I wish that I would not be born a woman in my next life.”(Participant 5)
“My parents know. My parents-in-law do not know yet. If this takes longer and they find out, we decided to tell them that we are trying this out because we are both old and it’s difficult (to conceive) and to postpone telling them until we can. You know, there are many couples who cannot (conceive) even if both have no problems. I think I would have been more okay to undergo this process if that was so for us.”(Participant 6)
3.2. Confused Inside
3.2.1. Ambivalence towards Spouse
“I only get mad at my husband. That’s (oligospermia) not his fault but… who’s the reason that I had to get IVF; we fought. ‘How can you do this to me?’ I blame my husband.”(Participant 3)
3.2.2. Feeling Pity towards Self
“Our family comes together during the holidays and people announce their pregnancy then. It might be nothing for them, but I feel… I feel like I am unworthy because the focus of the conversation is babies… I am jealous…”(Participant 8)
“After I miscarried, I was sad and I think I felt a little guilt but one thing that was different was that I felt sorry for myself. I felt so sorry for myself…”(Participant 3)
3.2.3. Bouts of Anger in Unanticipated Moments
“Sometimes I just get so mad suddenly that when I come home, I just burst into tears. After I cry myself to sleep, I feel a little better. I think that’s how I dealt with anger”(Participant 6)
“I was waiting for the scrubber in the bath house. A pregnant lady came behind me, and the scrubber would scrub her first. I was so mad and sad and I was like ‘Excuse me why are you scrubbing her first? I was next. I was waiting.’ She says ‘Well, she’s pregnant, so she should go first.” I got so mad and I snapped at her and cried out loud. I felt like do women who are not pregnant have to be pushed to the side even in bathhouses?”(Participant 5)
3.2.4. Difficult to Settle the Mind
“If I am too hopeful, I think I would be too disappointed when it fails, and then I just let it go and just think ‘Whatever, you just do not have any hope.’”(Participant 6)
“I took some drugs because I did not feel good… I am just so determined in my mind that this cycle is going to fail, so I am easily annoyed… My husband too, he cracked his cell phone screen. There were several cracks. I saw that and I was thinking, ‘it’s gonna fail…’”(Participant 3)
3.3. Destroyed Relationships Due to Blaming and Anger
3.3.1. Damaged Relationship with Spouse
“On the day (of ovulation), we’re kind of walking on eggshells… He feels nervous before we do it. He’s nervous, but he’s just trying to do the homework out of obligation… After he finishes the homework, he feels relaxed. He says, ‘It’s okay now.’ But I tell him ‘What is okay? I have to be pregnant and then it is okay.’ Then, it hurts his feelings.”(Participant 1)
“Last time when I was doing IVF, I felt so annoyed and tired… you know mentally… So, I fought with my husband a lot.”(Participant 6)
3.3.2. Damaged Relationships with Family
“I saw other people coming with their moms and I want to rely on my mom too but that’s not happening so I was sad and mad.”(Participant 6)
“I think all my anger is being directed to my mother-in-law. I am not mad at my husband. I cannot (because husband has aspermia).”(Participant 7)
“My mother-in-law glances at me and says I don’t know if it’s okay to give him (husband) this much rice. She gives him a lot. It’s all her fault that he’s like this (fat)…. She raised him like that… I get so mad at her all the time and I hate her.”(Participant 1)
3.3.3. Damaged Relationships with People Around
“I think people are so inconsiderate when they talk. In particular, it really hurts my heart when older people say things. They say you are not doing your share in the house. I mean it’s not like I need to have a baby in order to do my share in the house. I do not know why people say such mean things.”(Participant 5)
“It was my close friend’s birthday… But she had morning sickness. I could not have it… So, I was jealous. She got married later than I did but got pregnant first… I do not want to see her.”(Participant 8)
3.3.4. Damaged Relationships with God
“There was a time when I was mad at God for not giving a baby to someone who wants one so desperately, when people who got married after I did, got pregnant so easily. Why me?…”(Participant 2)
3.4. Desire Social Support
3.4.1. Desire Spouse’s Support
“They collected my egg and that day was so hard for me. I was in excruciating pain the whole day, and I was suffering at home. I thought my husband will at least buy me some porridge… I expected him to do that, even if I do not tell him to…”(Participant 6)
“I have to go to the hospital because of him, but he gets fatter, doesn’t quit smoking, and gets stressed, but doesn’t put in any effort to resolve them… It’d be so good if he would try too…”(Participant 1)
“My husband told me out of self-pride, **’s mom (a way of calling the participant), I’m going to take this, so don’t ever tell me about herbal medicine. He took that once and then threw everything else my mom and mom-in-law ordered him to later.”(Participant 2)
3.4.2. Desire Policy Support at Work and Country
“Now when I have to get injections for superovulation or fertilization I have to go to the restroom, if the office doesn’t have like a break room, and that’s so difficult.”(Participant 3)
“My office just doesn’t support me to go get testing and procedures. Their perception is just like that… Inability to have a child is a defect… it feels like… you are taking advantage of your defect. It’d be great if they would help me just out of kindness.”(Participant 8)
“You know, our country tries to give a lengthy maternity leave… But parenting is of course a problem, but you’re trying to have a baby and the conditions are just not suitable for you to have a baby. I do not think my coworkers liked it when I did the first cycle (of IVF) last month and the same was true for my husband… So, I am in pain, but I was alone every time I had to go to collect the egg.”(Participant 5)
3.4.3. Desire Professional Help
“Actually, I don’t trust in hospitals or health care facilities at all. You see a doctor for about 2 min, and would that be enough for them to examine you? These days, their eyes are just on the computer screen and they do not even make eye contact. I really have no faith in them. I do not want to be honest about my problems with them. Because I feel like it will be of no use.”(Participant 7)
“When it was my turn, I went into the office and before I even took a seat the doctor said “It didn’t work out (you are not pregnant)”. It was not his (husband’s) fault and not mine, and it was just that the results were bad, but did he really have to say that before I even sat down? I hated him for that. If it were me, I would have said, ‘It’s okay, so let us not give up and take a good care of your body and see you next time”. He did not say anything like that.”(Participant 6)
3.5. Embracing Hurt Feelings and Regaining Strength
3.5.1. Husband’s and Friends’ Heartfelt Consolation and Consideration Go a Long Way
“Sometimes he (husband) says he tears up when he looks at me. His heart aches… He says he thinks to himself that she would not have to go through this if she had met someone else… It was heartbreaking, but it consoled me.”(Participant 9)
“I have a friend who has an eleventh grader and a ninth grader, and when we talk away and she says something like ‘Babies are so cute,’ I tell her to try for a third one. Then she would seriously tell me… ‘Hey if you get pregnant, I will try for a third. I will.’ She tells me ‘Let us get the treatment out of strong will.’ That was kind of touching.”(Participant 8)
3.5.2. Try to Change Mind and Behaviors
“‘‘Honey, we should just be happy with our lives. Having a baby is not our dream, right? Let us be happy’… I think like that. I just think that after all the things I went through, I am tired and sad, but I think that it’s good as long as I am happy.”(Participant 6)
“When I tell my friends about the day I failed (IVF), they console me and hang around with me. People around me are nice to me, so I am not sick inside, but I probably have depression, right? It’s just that I do not show it… Maybe I am trying to get out of depression, and I am okay because I am trying to change this depressed feeling into another feeling.”(Participant 4)
4. Discussion
5. Conclusions
Author Contributions
Funding
Conflicts of Interest
References
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Participant | Age (Years) | Last Formal Education | Job | Number of IVFs | Duration of Marriage (Years) |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | 37 | College | Have | 3 | 5.0 |
2 | 35 | College | Have | 2 | 4.5 |
3 | 36 | College | Have | 4 | 6.0 |
4 | 39 | College | Have | 2 | 1 (remarried) |
5 | 34 | College | Have | 1 | 1.3 |
6 | 33 | College | Temporary lay-off | 3 | 4.2 |
7 | 40 | College | Do not have | 2 | 4.0 |
8 | 41 | College | Do not have | 4 | 10.5 |
9 | 36 | College | Do not have | 2 | 5.4 |
Mean ± SD | 36.78 ± 2.57 | 2.56 ± 0.96 | 4.66 ± 2.62 |
Theme Cluster | Theme | Meaning Unit |
---|---|---|
Difficult to accept the situation | Discomfort arising from the word ‘infertility’ | Never expected my infertility The word ‘infertility’ is bothering me Feel foreign to the word ‘infertility’ |
Hate to be blamed for infertility | Uncomfortable by the questions about pregnancy plan Uncomfortable by the questions presuming pregnancy is intentionally delayed | |
Difficult to endure the current situation | Wish to be born as male in my next life Wish to rather have infertility without knowing the cause | |
Confused inside | Ambivalence towards spouse | Think that husband is not to blame, but also blame him when I feel that this is hard Confident because I am not to blame |
Feeling pity towards self | Envy for pregnant women makes me feel small Conversations about baby in family gatherings make me feel small Miscarriage makes me pity rather than guilty | |
Bouts of anger in unanticipated moments | Sudden anger with burst into tears Anger for losing to other pregnant women | |
Difficult to settle the mind | No idea how to settle the mind Anticipate failure when cell phone breaks | |
Destroyed relationships due to blaming and anger | Damaged relationship with spouse | Resentful and angry towards husband Feel offended when husband seems obligated to have sex Frequent argument with husband due to burden of IVF treatment |
Damaged relationship with family | Resentful towards my mother for not helping Angry towards mother-in-law for not accepting her son’s problem Blaming mother-in-law for the origin of the husband’s problem | |
Damaged relationship with people around | Easily get hurt from people’s words Avoid gatherings with babies Feel jealous of pregnant people | |
Damaged relationship with god | Blame God Stop going to church to avoid people | |
Desire social support | Desire spouse’s support | Seeking care when suffering from treatment pain Husband does not care about the treatment and living habits Wish the husband did his best to overcome the infertility |
Desire policy support at work and country | No place to get injection in workplace No replacement of my leave for treatment No support for infertility treatment from the employer Financially burdened for the IVF treatment Wish to have a vacation for infertility treatment Wish to receive support for infertility counseling | |
Desire professional help | Need someone stranger to discuss infertility and get consolation No trust to health care professionals, thus do not attempt to consult them No psychological management received after miscarriage Wanted to get support after failing IVF | |
Embracing hurt feelings and regaining strength | Husband’s and friends’ heartfelt consolation and consideration go a long way | Save words with husband in fear of hurting each other Feel hurt but consoled by the husband’s sincere care Touched by a friend’s encouraging words |
Try to change mind and behaviors | Difficult and sad, but make my mind to be happy Try to express my intention more actively Try to turn depression to a different emotion |
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Share and Cite
Kim, M.; Yi, S.J.; Hong, J.E. Experiences of Women with Male Factor Infertility under In Vitro Fertilization. Int. J. Environ. Res. Public Health 2020, 17, 7809. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph17217809
Kim M, Yi SJ, Hong JE. Experiences of Women with Male Factor Infertility under In Vitro Fertilization. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2020; 17(21):7809. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph17217809
Chicago/Turabian StyleKim, Miok, Su Jeong Yi, and Ju Eun Hong. 2020. "Experiences of Women with Male Factor Infertility under In Vitro Fertilization" International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health 17, no. 21: 7809. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph17217809
APA StyleKim, M., Yi, S. J., & Hong, J. E. (2020). Experiences of Women with Male Factor Infertility under In Vitro Fertilization. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(21), 7809. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph17217809