Microaggressions and Coping with Linkages for Mentoring
Abstract
:1. Introduction
Coping and Mentoring
2. Materials and Methods
3. Results
3.1. Coping Strategies
3.1.1. Coping by Resisting and Reclaiming One’s Voice
“I think I can remember a situation at my last job where somebody assumed a stereotype, I forgot what the context was, but was assuming a stereotype about Black people and I chose to tell them like, listen, that’s not the case. Like you need to widen your understanding of that.”
“If I experience a microaggression, I would be more likely to make sure that person knows that I didn’t appreciate that. So… when somebody would say… “ Well, did you hear the latest hip hop?” I would say, “No, not yet, I’m not really into it!”
“If a person doesn’t have any verbal restraint when they were talking to me, then I don’t have to hold my punch. So somebody says, oh, you like watermelon? I could say no I don’t! I really don’t, but it’s just like I’m direct with it. Using a very quick, succinct, NO, I don’t like that or, no, I don’t really subscribe to that.”
“So I typically just call it out and say, why would you say that? I don’t think that’s an appropriate thing you say. I’m pretty assertive that way. I don’t think most people I know would call out those things, but I’ve kind of made a mission to bring awareness to it because people don’t know.”
“There’s two schools of thought. Some people say that I won’t respond to ignorance of people, and other people that say, no, I want to correct. I tend to sway going towards the correction because I want them to have 100% understanding that what you said was wrong!”
“For me, I’m not giving up, I’m not forfeiting my Blackness. Anybody comes and they say something wrong with being Black or they say something discriminatory or derogatory, that moment I’ll lose myself and lose who I am as a person. I think some people that are Black and Brown tend to forfeit that; I’m just going to simply be a part of that culture to be accepted, or the fact of the matter is, to me, some people would never, ever accept you. If I assimilate, they are still not going to accept me, so I’m better off being myself to the fullest degree because that’s what’s right. And if they can’t deal with it, then that’s their problem.”
“Like about the whole Catholic church, the scandal I’ll say, this totally is not what we’re teaching as a church. We say it in mass, every single week during the homily, it’s like this whole thing that’s happened is absolutely terrible. It’s the act of the devil, you know, this is not what it’s like to be a Catholic. It’s mostly developing ways to talk and communicate to other people that they might understand or be more accepting of it.”
3.1.2. Coping by Retreating, Reframing, or Withdrawing
“Like when they’re talking about religion, I never participate in the conversation.”
“And I remember this one day I was just on Facebook and my Girl Scouts leader had actually shared this photo and it was towards Muslim people, but it didn’t explicitly state it, and then it made me feel awful. And I actually stopped going to girls scouts after that.”
“And so I wanna dissociate myself from those people. I want to be around good people, doesn’t matter what their gender is. Yes, redirect my energy towards good people.”
“I would say that I distance myself from those people once I recognize who those people are. They might not say to me, but I may hear something. I heard this person say that somebody got this job opportunity because they were a Black woman.”
“A boss at work once—I was single and we were out at lunch. We had a pretty good relationship, but it was a work relationship, and she knew that I was single and she even said something about a guy in a restaurant, like, oh, he looks like your type, just assuming that I would want to date a male. Like why would that even come up? Why is that assumption we make that the majority of the population would be in that way? It would be nice if we would just stop making these assumptions because it felt uncomfortable. I didn’t say anything at that point in time. I just kind of changed the subject because that’s just really uncomfortable. But then it keeps me in this weird tense state. It’s like I never really feel like I can be myself. And I feel like an imposter because no one even knows. No one even knows, and that’s uncomfortable.”
“I’ve even thought of maybe I should take off my wedding ring when I’m being interviewed. Maybe they’re going to be wondering if I have children or what my home life is. How many years do I want to work?”
“There was this one instance where we were at a robotics meet and like some guy came up to me and like, he asked me like some really weird sexual question and I was like excuse me. And then he like changed it. And I was like, ask me something relevant to robotics. It made me really uncomfortable, but again, like, I couldn’t really vocalize it because that was a male-dominated space. And like, this was somebody I just met for the first time. So this is like how do you exactly respond to this? It kinda hurt because like I was captain of the team and I like worked hard to get there and like bring my team and everything. It’s just… why is that still your first reaction when you see me, rather than seeing me as a captain, you see me as a woman first!”
3.1.3. Coping by Rejecting or Stonewalling
“That’s just a daily endeavor. But I’m growing up and dealing with stereotypes of dealing with a microaggression and it leaves a chip on my shoulder and then it leaves me to be guarded all the time because I feel like if I am too vulnerable amongst people, then they may see a chink in my armor and possibly feel that they can say something that’s not right or they say that it is discriminatory.So I’d rather… this sounds bad, but I’m, I’ve started to like put on a very stoic and slightly, slightly hyper-masculine and intimidating factor. Not necessarily I’m going out to intimidate somebody, but I, I am putting on this stoic and a hyper-masculine self in order for people to understand you can’t mess with me. You can’t talk to me a type of way. No, you can’t touch my hair.”
“It’s just feeling much more on guard. I think that I’m being very deliberate. Like, okay, I’m touching this and I’m holding it here. It’s going into a basket. Like I’m not putting anything into my hoodie. Cause it’s also accessible. Just hold this. And then I check out with it, like something very clear, like, okay, this is going, you can see that it is in this space and it’s not going into anything. And so it’s just being much more, yeah, just much more deliberate in my actions and what I’m doing to try and create some realm of safe space for everyone.”
“I’m super sensitive to this conversation, therefore I’m rubbed the wrong way. I automatically do. I know like coming in, I have a wall up as far as who I can be, or how open I can be.”
3.1.4. Coping by Restraining and Internalizing
“Yeah, I mean if you react then like you get in trouble, right? I know better than to just completely react, because it will only end negatively for me. Oh, especially outside of… at least in school its sort of an isolated environment, but in the real world… yeah right! You can’t be Black and acting crazy. You’d be killed! Are you serious?”
“Cause usually there’s nothing you can do. Because the reality is if you react equally, it’s always going to be, Oh, this angry Black woman reacted! Or, or, you know, in these days where every other month there’s some police officer killing someone, it’s like, I don’t want to die just because this person is an idiot. So you just kind of let it go. But otherwise, what are you going to do? Is it worth me potentially facing greater consequences to correct this one person than to just let them say their foolishness or whatever and keep it moving.”
“I generally try to ignore it. I don’t want to escalate a situation because of how quickly things can escalate. I’m like, I don’t want to make this potentially worse when it doesn’t need to do so. So I’d rather just ignore it, do my thing, and walk out.”
3.1.5. Coping by Seeking Support and Reconnecting (with Safe Spaces)
“Where there are conversations that need to be had, that aren’t being had… usually you have people that come in and… they call them safe spaces… where people come in like all Black people, all women or all LGBTQ—they come in and talk about their plights, they come in and talk about their problems and get everything off their chest.”
“We talk about the struggles of being Black, the invisible weight of being Black, of walking around in Black skin is automatically a weight that’s put on you, because you know you have to act different, in this day and age, to stay alive.”
“It was like it sucks; it was insulting. It’s like I worked my way here, right? I mean I talked about it with a couple of friends that were there at the house. I’m like, well this just happened.”
“At that point I talked to my friends here. I asked them like, okay, is this normal?”
“Any traumatizing experience for me, I write a personal journal, I like. I write down how I am feeling, why it may happen, what I wanna do about it, how am I feeling right now and how should I feel. Is what I’m feeling irrational, is what I’m feeling not fair. So I usually find my journal to get my thoughts down.”
“This time I posted on social media. Like I posted, ‘Wow, I can’t believe that I was called the N word today!’ I put that on Facebook.”
“Sometimes I feel angry, but in Buddhism, I believe in changing my mind, internally, to make myself not be angry, just let it go.”
“And like first not knowing like how to respond, but then like doing research and like learning and speaking to priests. I went and I talked to a couple of the priests. And I talked to them like, you know, what could I do?”
3.1.6. Coping by Redoubling (Effort)
“But I do feel pressured to perform due to my ethnicity and the stereotypes that may be tied to my ethnicity. And then, I also feel like sometimes, I have to ask for more responsibility or take on more of leadership positions.”
“When it happens (gendered racial microaggression), it makes me work twice as hard because I wanna be the person that my boss thinks of as having worked harder to get to where I am. It just makes me more determined to work harder and prove myself.”
“I’m always trying to prove a point, that girls can do anything that boys can do, maybe even better”
“I’ll go to open hockey with some friends and I’ll be like the only girl. And it’s just like the way the guys react to me is very different. Most of the time, they wouldn’t tackle me…they’ll just ignore me…they won’t really try to stop me or actually play with me as a normal player… I feel like I’m not good enough for them to even try and compete against… it feels like a dismissal… no matter how many good moves I have. And I feel like I have more to prove, like I have to work even harder, and even if I’m better than like half the guys out there, which most of the time I am better than a whole lot of them, I have to fight a lot. It usually just makes me work harder. I just try and show them that I can keep up with them and I can play.”
4. Enabling Coping: Emergent Mentoring Linkages
5. Discussion
6. Conclusions
Author Contributions
Funding
Institutional Review Board Statement
Informed Consent Statement
Data Availability Statement
Conflicts of Interest
References
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Microaggression Responses i | Coping Mechanisms | Mentoring Function and Some Related Excerpts | Mentoring Domains ii |
---|---|---|---|
Self-doubt, anger, guilt, belittlement, alienation, isolation, depression, anxiety, frustration, powerlessness, invisibility, loss of integrity, rage, fear | Resisting/Reclaiming Voice | Career Support “I think I can remember a situation at my last job where somebody assumed a stereotype, I forgot what the context was, but was assuming a stereotype about Black people and I chose to tell them like, listen, that’s not the case. Like you need to widen your understanding of that. Psychosocial “If a person doesn’t have any verbal restraint when they were talking to me, then I don’t have to hold my punch. So somebody says, oh, you like watermelon? I could say no I don’t! I really don’t, but it’s just like I’m direct with it. Using a very quick, succinct, NO, I don’t like that or, no, I don’t really subscribe to that.” | Address diversity Communicate |
Retreating, Reframing, Withdrawing | Career Support “I’ve even thought of maybe I should take off my wedding ring when I’m being interviewed. Maybe they’re going to be wondering if I have children or what my home life is. How many years do I want to work?” Psychosocial “Like when they’re talking about religion, I never participate in the conversation.” | Assess understanding Align expectations Address diversity | |
Rejecting or Stonewalling | Psychosocial “I’m super sensitive to this conversation, therefore, I’m rubbed the wrong way. I automatically do. I know like coming in, I have a wall up as far as who I can be, or how open I can be.” | Assess understanding Communication | |
Restraining and Internalizing | Psychosocial “So you just kind of let it go. But otherwise, what are you going to do? Is it worth me potentially facing greater consequences to correct this one person than to just let them say their foolishness or whatever and keep it moving.” | Promote development Foster independence | |
Seeking Support and Reconnecting (with safe spaces) | Psychosocial “Where there are conversations that need to be had, that aren’t being had… usually you have people that come in and… they call them safe spaces… where people come in like all Black people, all women or all LGBTQ—they come in and talk about their plights, they come in and talk about their problems and get everything off their chest.” | Communicate Foster independence | |
Redoubling (efforts) | Career Support “But I do feel pressured to perform, uh, due to my ethnicity and the stereotypes that may be tied to my ethnicity. And then I also feel like sometimes I have to ask for more responsibility or take on more of leadership positions” “When it happens (gendered racial microaggression), it makes me work twice as hard because I wanna be the person that my boss thinks of as having worked harder to get to where I am. It just makes me more determined to work harder and prove myself.” | Address diversity Align expectations |
Coping Mechanisms | Mentoring Domains ii | Training Topic |
---|---|---|
Resisting/Reclaiming Voice | Address diversity Communicate | Dispute resolution techniques |
Communication skills: Audience analysis | ||
Holding difficult conversations | ||
Giving/getting feedback | ||
Retreating, Reframing, Withdrawing | Assess understanding Align expectations Address diversity | Self-awareness tools: Self-efficacy |
Communication skills: Audience analysis | ||
Communication style identification | ||
Mentor: Role model | ||
Support group identification | ||
Rejecting or Stonewalling | Assess understanding Communication | Implicit bias training |
Emotional intelligence training | ||
Restraining and Internalizing | Promote development Foster independence | Communication skills: Self-awareness: self-esteem |
Emotional intelligence training | ||
Seeking Support and Reconnecting (with safe spaces) | Communicate Foster independence | Communication skills: Active listening |
Communication tools: Journaling | ||
Redoubling (efforts) | Address diversity Align expectations | Organization skills: Goal setting |
Communication skills: Aligning expectation |
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Nair, N.; Good, D.C. Microaggressions and Coping with Linkages for Mentoring. Int. J. Environ. Res. Public Health 2021, 18, 5676. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18115676
Nair N, Good DC. Microaggressions and Coping with Linkages for Mentoring. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2021; 18(11):5676. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18115676
Chicago/Turabian StyleNair, Nisha, and Deborah Cain Good. 2021. "Microaggressions and Coping with Linkages for Mentoring" International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health 18, no. 11: 5676. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18115676
APA StyleNair, N., & Good, D. C. (2021). Microaggressions and Coping with Linkages for Mentoring. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 18(11), 5676. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18115676