Tough Love—Impactful, Caring Coaching in Psychologically Unsafe Environments
Abstract
:1. Introduction
1.1. Psychological Safety
1.2. Challenging Coaching
1.3. Care
2. Methods
2.1. Research Philosophy, Design and Methods
2.2. Participants
2.3. Data Collection
2.4. Data Analysis
2.5. Trustworthiness
3. Results
3.1. A Lack of Psychological Safety
There’s no comfort, no safety, if you don’t work hard or you perform poorly, there’s eight other guys that are going to happily step in your shoes. It can be exhausting, but it definitely helps. It’s one of those places where you bring your gumshield to breakfast, you don’t want to put a foot wrong.(S6)
It’s the most uncomfortable environment I’ve been in…if you were making a mistake because you weren’t switched on, it was a major issue. I wasn’t on it for a session, (coach) picked up on it straight after, he told me that I was going to be in the starting 15, but I’d worked my way out of it and that it would be tough to get back in. It was a good lesson for me, I reacted my usual way, when I’ve had a kick up the a*se, that’s where I’ve sat down and properly had a think about what I need to do and where I need to be…when I’m under that intense pressure, I feel a bit on edge, at the time it doesn’t feel great, afterwards, you know you’ve progressed a lot.(S5)
3.2. A Double-Edged Sword
(International coach) pulled me in on the Wednesday morning before we trained. He says: ‘we’re gonna start you’…I woke up a day later to a text saying you need to see (coach). He said: ‘I’m not picking you, you didn’t train well, XXX had the upper hand on you’. I went away and had a think, I knew what (coach) wanted and what he was trying to do…I had to find gears I never had before in training. I thought I was leaving it all out there, but somehow, I wasn’t. It brought far more out of me. The game is mad, you can be on top of the world for 48 h before and then rock bottom. That camp was a perfect example and although it was traumatic at the time, I look back on it and I loved it, it definitely improved me.
A couple of players got picked ahead of me and I was thinking, what more could I be doing? I’m playing well, starting in (on loan in lower league) ahead of players who are on the bench (at a lower level). Why is this fair? Why is this happening? It especially annoyed me because I felt like they took (player) because of his brother. It was a stitch up.
In my first year, I was terrified of making mistakes. You’re new on the scene, you’re a young guy and thrown into training with players like XXX [a senior international and club stalwart] and you don’t want to f*ck up. I felt I trained within myself for a lot of that period. I’ve addressed that now but there’s still a lot of pressure…nobody’s position is safe.
When you don’t have expectation, you don’t perform at the level you need to. If you feel like a bit safe, when there’s no expectation, you think you can coast. When everyone is competing for a spot, that gets the best out of everyone. The squad depth at (international) is ridiculous. Everyone’s battling so hard to play, it’s so competitive. I thrive in that. I like the intensity but there’s a couple of players who don’t thrive in those environments.
It sounds silly, but I was very confident in my position (at loan club). I wasn’t going to dropped for a 19 year old student or a 28 year old plumber. I think that’s the problem, especially during that time. I needed to be pushed, I just wasn’t. I accepted that I’ll be playing for this team every weekend on loan.
(Club coach), when you don’t get selected, looks at how hard you train. It’s almost 10 times harder when you’re not getting picked because you got to push yourself even harder. In that sense it’s a good environment, when you play the non-selected in training and all of them are all p*ssed off, that preps you for the weekend. It’s probably a difference between teams because in some places players don’t get picked and sulk. This place is completely different, it fires people up.(S3)
I was just so tired, not so much physically, but mentally. I just couldn’t get away from all the pressure. The lockdown (COVID) came at just the right time for me, I really enjoyed it. It was just what I needed because those two years, not doing well at (club) were really tough. I took that quite personally and struggled with it. So the lockdown was almost like a restart button.(S1)
I was straight out of school. I finished the (international U18) stuff, finished my last exam then the next day I was straight into (club). I couldn’t get used to the pressure, needing to be on it all the time. I was tired and just didn’t cope with it, it was a chore from the beginning.(R7)
Being at (international), you feel like you have to step up a level, or you will just get sent home. It feels like you are on X Factor! I feel like I have to be on point every session or I am going to be embarrassed. You have (coach) prowling around watching everything as well. Everything that you do is going to get judged, it either pushes you into your shell, or drives you to perform. I found it hard to adjust, but going back into club rugby, I felt so much more relaxed. I felt like I could go at the same intensity, but I wasn’t as stressed out, it was like I had adapted to the stress and could get the same results. It helped me massively from a mental point of view.(S7)
3.3. Tough Love
3.3.1. Harder Approaches
I needed a coach, who offered some tough love, who would be on top of me, that would be honest, but also respect me. I only got that in the early years of my career. Other coaches, who I had a really good relationship with, there was no: ‘this wasn’t good enough’. I needed a coach to say: ‘your performance at this level is fine, but I want you to think about your ambitions as a player and if you want to push on, your performance at the weekend was crap’. There was never any of that. I knew if I went out with no preparation, had a beer the night before, hadn’t really done much mental prep…I’d still have been a seven out of ten. I needed coach to tell me: ‘seven out of ten at this level is not good enough’.
It was a complete emotional rollercoaster, one week I was captain, the next week I couldn’t captain the tiddlywinks team. I had no idea where I stood, it was like the team performance rested on me. I heard from another coach that one week I was being recommended to (international coach), being offered 2 year contract on way more money, the next (club coach) wasn’t going to pick me at all. Whether there was an agenda to get rid of me I don’t know, but there was a lot going on behind the scenes.(S1)
I was told that I’d hit all goals set for me, but the goals had changed. I got told I wasn’t going to be contracted, but that I’m doing exactly what they’d asked of me, but they’d moved the goal posts at some point. I hadn’t been told.(R8)
(Head coach) was known to be a bit of a ‘yes man’. He’d always say: ‘yeah, yeah, you’ll get your chance’. The type of person who avoids the tricky conversations. Other coaches would just tell you something like (Head coach), you’d try and do it, go and do it but it wouldn’t change anything.(R4)
Wishy washy feedback was a killer. I was being released and it just wasn’t clean: ‘we really rate you, but we aren’t contracting you.’ I go away and what the hell am I supposed to do with that? Now, it’s like: ‘you’re not getting picked because of this, this and this.’ It’s just being straight up and honest. I think coaches need to think deeply about their approach to those conversations, they can kick players on, or beat them down.(S3)
When you dropped that ball, or when you made that pass, he asked: ‘what do you think you could have done?’. (Coach) remembers all the details, and it was a huge attention to detail. It just broke everything down for me, it was so much easier. Their attention to detail, it was eye opening.(S6)
3.3.2. Softer Approaches
(1st team coach) was tough in terms of having high expectations for everybody in the squad and to take responsibility. No one was able to sort of rest on their laurels, there was an expectation for everyone to improve, all the time. But also, this person was a generous, kind and compassionate human being…From my point of view, I thought it was absolutely fantastic.(R2)
(International age group coaches) didn’t want me there, it was basically all private school lads down there and the coaches were quite cliquey because nearly all the players had been in their system for ages. I remember in my first session I made a tackle and I folded a (club) back rower. The coaches were like: ‘oh the (club) lads are here’. I was the only player from my club, it was clear that they didn’t like me. They had their favourites from certain clubs and the louder ones who were more extroverted. I couldn’t approach them.(R3)
I respected coaches more if I thought they knew what they were talking about. With (international age group), I was told I wasn’t fit enough but I ran a 4.51 bronco (fitness test), it was so annoying, they didn’t know what I needed to work on. They were just covering their a*ses.(R5)
I was like, wow, this man who’s achieved so much is willing to take a gamble on me. He was really direct with me, but I remember feeling like I had to give everything I can to learn from him.(S1)
For me, it is finding the coaches who are doing it for the right reason, and you look at their track record, you know they are doing something right. Some coaches will just shout at you for the sake of it, (coach) was just an authoritarian, I stopped listening.(S7)
4. Discussion
4.1. Psychological Safety
4.2. Role of the Coach
4.2.1. Interpersonal Dimensions
4.2.2. Soft Skills
5. Limitations
6. Applied Implications
6.1. Role Clarity
6.2. Safety
Author Contributions
Funding
Institutional Review Board Statement
Informed Consent Statement
Data Availability Statement
Conflicts of Interest
References
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Career Status at Time of Interview | International Status | |
---|---|---|
Player 1 (S1) | Professional player at Premiership club | U18/U20/Senior |
Player 2 (S2) | Professional player at Premiership club | U20/Senior |
Player 3 (S3) | Professional player at Premiership club | U20/Senior |
Player 4 (S4) | Professional player at Premiership club | U18/U20/Senior |
Player 5 (S5) | Professional player at Premiership club | U18/U20/Senior |
Player 6 (S6) | Professional player at Premiership club | U18/U20/Senior |
Player 7 (S7) | Professional player at Premiership club | U18/U20/Senior |
Player 8 (R1) | Released | U18 |
Player 9 (R2) | Released | U18/U20 |
Player 10 (R3) | Released | U18 |
Player 11 (R4) | Released | U18/U20 |
Player 12 (R5) | Released | U20 |
Player 13 (R6) | Released | U18/U20 |
Player 14 (R7) | Released | U18/20 |
Player 15 (R8) | Released | U20 |
Characterised as Enabling | Raw Data Example | Characterised as Disenabling | Raw Data Example | |
---|---|---|---|---|
Harder coaching approaches | High challenge and accountability to high standards | It was robust, often negative, tough love if you like, but I needed it. It was whenever I had a coach who was hard on me, but respected me as a person, that’s what I always took the most from, seeing me as more than a player (R5) | Lack of accountability or challenge from coach | (1st team coach) came in as head coach and I got along really well with him. It was brilliant, my mate is the head coach kind of thing. I had (1st team coach) who was practically like my rugby Dad, he was looking after me, putting his arm around me. On a personal level it was immense, but my performance wasn’t good, it was the time I stagnated the most probably because I felt so comfortable. (S6) |
Offering Role clarity | (International coaches) I learned so much from them, they were really personal with it. They told me exactly what they saw from me, and what I needed to do to improve and it was a really good environment to learn. (S4) | Ambiguity of role | I came off a loan and I felt as though I started to make a bit of progression. Then I got told I was meant to play in the European games by (head coach). He told me before that I was going to get picked and then for whatever reason I didn’t get picked for those games (R1) | |
Robust two-way and actionable feedback | I had a conversation with (coach) about selection. I asked why another player was being picked over me and (coach) said: ‘he’s more physical in the carry and it suits the game this week’. I’d say: ‘I’ll work on being more aggressive than the carry’. He said: ‘No, you’re not the same carrier as (player). Keep working on what you’re good at. Your link play, your tips and playing out the back. You’ve got good feet you’ve got good handoff, use that to beat defenders, not just run straight through them like (player) does’. That kind of feedback is massive (S2) | Non-actionable, or inauthentic feedback | I like a coach that tells me what I’m doing well, what I’m not doing well and how I need to improve on it. Instead, at that time, all I was getting was coaches just trying to please me and build relationships. It was like ‘oh yeah, you’re doing really well’ and then realistically I just wouldn’t get any feedback. So I felt like that was a real point of stagnation. It made me angry at the time (S5) | |
Building understanding through attention to detail | Having the technical knowledge is absolutely massive. With (1st team coach), I had never seen a coach who could say: ‘watch this clip from a game in 2010, it would be perfect for you’ to help you. I was sitting at home one night and he messaged me at 10 pm, he asked if I was watching the European Cup game and said: ‘someone just made a really good read, I thought you would want to see it’ (laughter). He was so passionate and wanting to help you. The tiny details have helped so much. (S7) | Lacking attention to detail | No one had ever said: ‘you’re better off carrying the ball into hands, because then you can pass, kick and run. No one cared about that, which I think, you know, looking back, someone’s job probably was to say ‘try carrying in two hands’. It’s such a fundamental part of the game to be successful, particularly in my position. You need that attention to detail and that accountability for developing. (R2) | |
Softer coaching approaches | Care and empathic accuracy | I was developing because (school coach) was someone who has been really important to me. I still speak to him quite frequently, he’s someone that cares about your wellbeing and cares about you as a person, but he was still pushing me, expecting better performance. (S4) | Lack of care | If coaches called you the wrong name, or your name was being missed off team sheets for training, you don’t feel great. It’s a big thing for you, but the coaches won’t think too much about it. (R3) |
Coach openness to player input | I asked (head coach) for a chat. We sat down and I said: ‘I want you to just to have faith in me. Just trust me. I’m going to work as hard as I can. We found some common ground. Usually, players keep it all on their chest. It was just a very good open conversation, now I think he’s one of the best coaches I’ve ever had. It just took time for us to find common ground. (S6) | Coaches unavailable or unapproachable | When the pressure is on, coaches turn to focus on winning every week. At that point, they become less available. I’d go 8 weeks without speaking to them. You’d end up waiting around for hours trying to chase people. It got to the point where there was no dialogue, it was just a loan sheet. It was no one’s job to check on us. I remember them saying: ‘own your own development’. They never saw it as their job to help you. (R4) |
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Taylor, J.; Ashford, M.; Collins, D. Tough Love—Impactful, Caring Coaching in Psychologically Unsafe Environments. Sports 2022, 10, 83. https://doi.org/10.3390/sports10060083
Taylor J, Ashford M, Collins D. Tough Love—Impactful, Caring Coaching in Psychologically Unsafe Environments. Sports. 2022; 10(6):83. https://doi.org/10.3390/sports10060083
Chicago/Turabian StyleTaylor, Jamie, Michael Ashford, and Dave Collins. 2022. "Tough Love—Impactful, Caring Coaching in Psychologically Unsafe Environments" Sports 10, no. 6: 83. https://doi.org/10.3390/sports10060083
APA StyleTaylor, J., Ashford, M., & Collins, D. (2022). Tough Love—Impactful, Caring Coaching in Psychologically Unsafe Environments. Sports, 10(6), 83. https://doi.org/10.3390/sports10060083